So, I live in Colorado, near Columbine, and last Wednesday (April 17, 2019), school was cancelled in my city due to the threats made by Sol Pais, an 18 year old Floridian.

Sol had traveled from Florida to Colorado and purchased a gun (somehow passing a background check??), and there was concern that she would attempt a mass shooting.

The concern was due to the fact that Pais was a “columbiner,” someone who worshipped the Columbine shooters. Pais was being watched by the FBI due to the threats she had made to carry out a copycat attack.

We were all really scared. No one was going outside, in spite of the glorious weather and day off. Everyone was sending reminders to be safe, to watch out, to be careful.

The next day, we found out Pais had killed herself, and we were allowed back into school. No one wanted to talk about it, so no one did. We just moved on with our lives.

I’m still struggling to process. Someone threatened my life. Someone wanted me dead. Someone was willing to kill me for NO GODDAMN REASON.

Lately, I’ve been seeing posts, especially vy the True Crime Community, defending Pais, and saying that she only intended to commit suicide, and that it was crazy to think she would ever commit an atrocity.

I can see where you’re coming from; I’ve lost people in the past, and the urge to defend them in death is powerful. However, I would urge you to think of the Colorado communities who, for one day, had to shut down schools because they had a very real fear that someone was coming to kill them, their siblings, their children, their friends. Please consider that I DON’T REALLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR DEFENSE OF SOL PAIS OR HER ACTIONS. I WAS SCARED. I THOUGHT SOMEONE WANTED TO KILL ME.

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